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Friday, 8 November 2013

THE BAD, THE BRAVE AND THE VERY BEST..................





WORLD CUP SONGS OF ALL TIME!!!!!




OKAY... You may call it in recent times but I'm sure not many of us (age poll from 10-40yrs) would pretty much break down and cry or shake our rear to the sound of 1962's 'El Rock del Mundial' by Los Ramblers in Spanish (though David Bisbal totally blew our minds with his Spanish Rendition of 2010 hit theme song 'Wavin' Flag'). Chile1962 was when the very first FIFA World Cup Theme Song made its debut and this will go on to span for generations.  

According to FIFA, theme songs 'are songs adopted officially to be used as warm-ups to the event, to accompany the championships during the event and as a souvenir reminder of the events as well as for advertising campaigns leading for the World Cup, giving the singers exceptional universal world coverage and notoriety'. The moment the worlds' biggest sports federation realized the greatest sporting event on earth couldn’t do without Music, A Match was Made, A Marriage was Sealed and A Baby was Born.....THEME SONGS!!!!!

Since 1962 till date, every four years ushers us into the 'very best' of music (so FIFA and its exclusive tournament sponsors think) and we have listened to the emotional, the breath-taking, the boring, the indifferent, the soulful, the melodious and the utterly dramatic cacophony of voices, instruments and special effects that either takes us to a magical world and its much heralded beyond or just sends us straight to bed as we yawn all-song-long. In other words, we've listened to the good, the not-so-good and the why-did-FIFA-even-bother types thus it's time to take stock!

First UP.......... THE BAD!!!!   

GREAT FOOTBALL ......... BAD MUSIC!!



To be fair, all the artistes ladened with the responsibility of smoldering our eyes with tears, our minds with joy, nostalgia and expectancy as well as our bodies with rhythmic movements haven't done a really bad job over the years. All the Gladiators (I call them so as not every great artist is given the permission to jump on the World Cup Theme Songs Bandwagon; ask Beyonce) have put in tremendous time and energy together with their respective teams. However, there are some renditions that so do NOT make the cut. In this instance, it is just ONE that clearly can’t wait to be forgotten; if it isn’t already. And the award goes to......  
      
                                                               *drum rolls* 

BOOM - ANASTACIA (KOREA/JAPAN 2002) 
 
NO!  NON!!  NYET!!!
 



*SIGHS*. This song either BOOMS you to a land of techno-punk rock where you will be eternally caged in the phantom zone and the keys thrown into a bottomless pit or BOOMS you to the point of no return as you would do anything to just scream 'STTTTOOOOPPPPP!!!!!!'. Either way, it doesn’t do much for pleasant listening. It is with sheer disbelief on how such a song was officially sanctioned to bring people of multiple races and cultures together, unified and strong with hopes and dreams of winning one prestigious cup. I would bet if this song was the official soundtrack for Mexico ‘86, Maradona may not have scored the infamous 'Hand of God'. Why you may ask? It’s Plain Simple. He could have gone mad with distraction as the song could have continually rang in his eardrums. What's worse is that he could have scored with his head or maybe his left foot and it wont be any different than Iniesta's winning goal in South Africa 2010 thus depriving us of an absolute 8th Wonder of the World (Thank you Valerie Lynch, your heart felt ‘Me das cada día más’ brought Joy to our souls in Mexico ‘86). True! Anastacia at the time was all the rave, on the back of  ending 2001 with the award for the World's best-selling New Female Pop Artist at the World Music Awards and her music getting a fair share of recognition in Europe and Asia so she seemed like the perfect idea so let's all dissect......



WHY IT FLOPPED?  

1. SOUND: GOODNESS GRACIOUS!! The music is just all over the place; Loud, Harsh and Clunky. It is not to say the best World Cup songs have to be sing along ballads or that rock music makes a bad marriage for competitions of such magnanimity; of course it doesn't! Music is a universal language and for what it's worth, one of the best world cup songs of all time (which will be highlighted in another post) was a rock song by an Italian Rock duo in Italia '90. The Chorus sounds like its an opening theme song for John Cena when gracing the WWE Ring and not a World Cup that clearly has millions from different races highly expectant of a competition that will never be forgotten.  

2. MONO-DIMENSIONAL: It's Plain and Boring. It fails to highlight or pay homage to the exquisitely rich multicultural feel to the World Cup. Take for instance, ' The Cup Of Life' by Ricky Martin in France '98; He blended English, Latin and the hosts 'French' presence to a wonderfully worked song. Mind you, the official anthem of the game 'La Cours des Grands' was solely sang in French but that didn't hinder its feel good factor amidst the language barrier(The duet is good but not the best). Ricky Martin accentuated a great example of a memorable world cup song. Furthermore, 'BOOM' didn't make any reference to the dual hosts of the tournament which was Korea/Japan in terms of the language; traces of a subtle hint can be heard only in the techno-esque beat which really is no "dynamite". Vangelis in the same tournament churned out a far more brilliant piece with his all instrumental official anthem. 

3. MARKETABILITY: *FACE PALM*. It didn't even bother going global! Anastacia's rendition has been long forgotten and hardly was it translated into other languages like Knaans' 'Wavin Flag' for South Africa 2010 which saw the Somali born Canadian in over 20 bilingual versions of the song; featuring artistes from America, Spain, Japan, Lebanon, Nigeria, Russia, Greece, France and the list is endless. Not only did it top charts across the globe, it did well to transform the market for the brand Coca-Cola, the talented artist K naan and the World Cup immensely. It created a great hype for the 1st world cup on African soil and there was deservedly lots of buzz from start to finish. Errrrrr.....what did 'BOOM' do again????  



SO MUCH INPUT.....SO LITTLE IMPACT!!!!




4. THE X(less)- FACTOR: We know when something  or someone has got the 'X-factor'. Well, Boom didn't. In fact, it had more of the 'Z-Factor' (Pardon my French) which in my translation (do feel free to quote me anywhere *wide grin*) means the ZERO FACTOR. It failed to capture the imagination of football fans, listeners and viewers the world over. It could be as a result of one or the combination of all the reasons as listed above.  
Or maybe the shoes were just too big a size for this petite and feisty diva to fill in.  

 
In summary...... 'BOOM' was DOOMED from the word 'Go'. The video didn't even do the turn-around as its impact was barely felt. This is were one wishes we don't hear another of its type in subsequent editions as the World Cup expands and reaches new and greater heights. But as top flops (I cringe on typing the words) are inevitable regarding songs of any nature, 'BOOM' will for now take its long, slow and lonely walk of shame to the confines of the worst ever world cup songs hall of fame. And yes .... we BOOM this one off our footiegasmic memories FOREVER!